My kingdom for a hoverboard

(backtothefuture.wikia.com)

As we start 2015 TRB is nearly two, and rather a lot has happened in the last year! 

Recently I've been writing about something other than Fibromyalgia and Interstitial Cystitis, which was a bit of a surprise and not something I ever expected. Sitting down with a purpose for this blog when I set it up, I never thought to have to deal with (and thereby write about) health concerns which didn't touch on either of those conditions. Fate, as Bernard Cornwell's Merlin was wont to say in The Warlord Chronicles, is inexorable. 

It's the first of January, and I'm now two weeks post-surgery. I'm healing up surprisingly quickly (mad skills, clearly) and I'm looking at the week after next to hopefully return to work. This gives me another week to get over the lingering tiredness - I'm still sleeping a lot and I'm easily wiped out, although improving every day. 

I've been off the painkillers for a whole three days now too! That isn't to say the scar isn't still aching and painful, but it's at a level where I feel able to cope with it by myself. I wasn't expecting to get here so quickly if I'm honest, but I'm certainly not complaining. 

It's traditional to make resolutions at the turn of the new year to focus on in the coming months. These are usually concerned with self-improvement in one fashion or another. 

I don't usually make them, but then my late November and December don't usually involve close brushes with "life's too short" either, so my outlook is somewhat different this year. For a week and a half before Christmas I (and everyone around me) thought I had cancer. Looking back now with a benign diagnosis, it's difficult to put into words what an earth shattering concept that is to wrap the brain around. There's nothing to prepare you, and no getting away from it. I was very lucky indeed that, thanks to Joffrey being highly unusual (unique in fact), this turned out to not be so.  

So, this year I'm going to try and do more - including hopefully a welcome return to a former love. 

When I was 17 I gave up horse riding after ten years to learn to drive - money simply wouldn't stretch to everything. Just as I was getting ready to look into going back to it I started with the Fibromyalgia symptoms and therefore wrote it off as a bad job. 

However, in the last few months since moving into the Upside Down house, my health has been significantly better (Joffrey notwithstanding). Despite it being winter, the usual joint pain and stiffness has been noticeably less limiting than in previous years. It would appear (touch wood) that things are improving. With that in mind, I think it's time to give horse riding another go. I've found a nearby centre which looks very promising and have arranged to go for a visit tomorrow to see the horses and talk about the set up they have. I'm picky on several fronts with riding schools, and won't go just anywhere for the sake of price or convenience. 

Yes, there's the risk of falling and jarring my aforementioned grumpy joints, but here's where my sort-of resolution comes in. I think it's time I was more willing to attempt things, rather than holding back and going "Oh, but x, y and z might happen!" and therefore giving up before I've begun. 

(It's winter in the UK. That's excuse enough for me for a picture of a stunning horse running through snow. Image from rgbmag.com)

It was only when I went nosying on the website of the centre I'm visiting that I realised just how much I missed it. I love horses, they're unique and wonderful animals and spending time with them is incredibly rewarding. Also, if you'll permit me to blow my own trumpet for a moment, I was pretty good. I'd been at it for years and I worked hard to improve. It was a genuine skill, and I miss the comfort of the knowledge that there was a challenging sport I excelled in. As much as I'll be rusty at first, I'd love to get back to that level.

So, watch this space!

Continuing in this vein, I've agreed to let a friend take me to jive classes to try it out. This is likely to be hilarious for everyone except me. I've always liked the idea of being able to dance, but have been too shy to give dance classes a go up to press as I never had the typical classes as a little girl and see myself as largely uncoordinated and clumsy. However, in the spirit of "life's too short" I shall put myself to the hazard and risk some giggling for the sake of trying something new. 

Something far more subtle seems to have already begun before the new year, but I hope to keep it going and see where it takes me. There's been something of a shift in the way I look at myself and my body. 

As much as I can declaim at length about the fact our society is far too concerned with the concepts of beauty and perfection, I'm just as prone as everyone else to succumb from time to time in terms of fretting about this blemish or that weight gain or loss. I know it's silly, but bad days occur nonetheless. 

Since the surgery though, I've really felt a profound shift into thinking about the amazing things my body can do. We'll call Joffrey and Petunia blips - we all have those, right? - but blips aside, my body is incredible. I had invasive facial surgery two weeks ago, and I'm already up and about, the scar is healing incredibly neatly, I'm regaining the weight lost through stress and inability to eat properly and the severely damaged nerve controlling the right side of my lower lip is showing small signs of recovery already.

Think about that for a moment. That nerve was rather battered and bruised during the operation as it was wrapped around the tumour, so had to be peeled away. In my surgeon's words it looked "extremely sorry for itself" when they'd finished. Full recovery was considered unlikely, but my team were hopeful for some improvement over the next few months. In two weeks, it's already taking baby steps towards getting better! I'm guilty of a little bias since it's my nerve, but that surely deserves full marks for effort? The swift healing process thus far really has left me taken aback at what a brilliant machine the human body is. 

To further highlight how silly the preoccupation with how things look is, I've had several negative reactions from people whilst out and about when I've tied my hair up to get it out of the way, and thus revealed the scar on my neck. Initially I was incensed with this, but given how well the scar is healing it just further illustrates the lack of perspective involved. Rather than it being considered something ugly or disfiguring, to me with the knowledge of just how quickly and tidily it has healed it's something really impressive. It's a battle scar, and I'm proud of it. I'm proud of what my body has achieved in such a short space of time. 

Also, I smiled almost normally for the first time today. It appears this tired the nerve out completely as it's not really responded much since, but if that isn't evidence of how hard my body is working I don't know what is. 

(Me. Nearly there!)

So, a very Happy New Year to you all. I hope 2015 brings plenty of health and happiness. 

Oh, the title? That's not a resolution, more of a request. 

It's 2015. Where's my hoverboard? 

Do you have any New Year's resolutions concerning your health or anything else? I'd love to hear about them!

Wishing you all many spoons xxx

Uprising

They will not force us.

They will stop degrading us.

They will not control us.

We will be victorious.

Muse - Uprising

And victorious we were! Those following my escapades in hopsital recently will be happy to know the Purple Wedding Surgery went very well indeed. The kin- er, tumour is dead!

I've now been home from hospital ten days, and my stitches came out four days ago. When I went in for the stitches to be removed I received the best news ever in time for Christmas - Joffrey wasn't a cancer. Plenty of people jumped straight to the conclusion that my hospital mucked up, so I'm not going to beat about the bush in their defense. None of my clinical team had ever seen a benign tumour behave in the way mine did, so they would have been in very dodgy territory indeed to have assumed to leave it alone. As it is, the news is tremendous and the hospital now have my signature to keep Joffrey for research - I like to think they're going to poke him with sharp things many, many times. Serves him right. 

The healing process has been relatively uneventful. The scar itself is knitting very neatly and aside from one day when the pain level was tremendous (as in, waking up and pretty much screaming the house down level of pain) it's been nowhere near as unpleasant as I expected. I managed to drive a short way yesterday for the first time and have been out and about a couple of times. I still tire ridiculously easily however. 

(There you go. It's nowhere near as angry as I was expecting, and it looks neater every day.)

There are some other side effects - my body can't quite figure out balancing saliva levels at the moment. My throat is permanently dry, so I'm drinking water as if it's going out of fashion and that makes the level bounce. I'm constantly alternating between a dry throat and a runny nose. It is already better than it was thought and will only improve. 

There was some fairly hefty damage to the nerve controlling my lower lip on my right side. I've seom exercises to do, but at the moment it doesn't really work properly. However, that also will hopefully improve over the first six months (although according to my surgeon full recovery is unlikely). I can live with that!

Luckily, most of the scar will be under my hair anyway so you will be unable to tell, and from a distance the portion that is clearly visible already looks like just a fold in the skin. I really can't fault my surgeon at all, he's done an incredible job. 

I'm still mildly surprised by what a shock something like this is to random passers-by though. I threw my hair up to try a dress on in a shop yesterday and the look the changing room assistant gave me suggested I'd brandished the Dark Mark and commanded her subservience. I mean, I haven't done anything to that photo above - that's what it looks like. Surely that's not that offensive to look at is it?

I understand it's something a little unusual and unexpected, but I think some of the horror-struck reactions are far from reasonable. Maybe it's swearing at people when I'm not looking or something. 

I could be on my own in this (not that such a concept has ever bothered me over much) but I'm quite resolutely not hiding the changes to my appearance. For the first couple of days out of hospital I was a little shy about smiling and laughing, because that's when you can really tell the right side of my lower lip isn't moving at all, and the muscles and nerve grew tired after only a little talking and so the change was more noticeable. 

After this though I shook myself and decided to get on with it - I refuse to be embarrassed about it or feel the need to try and mask it in some way.

We already have an unhealthy relationship with the idea of perfection as a society, but I do think it's a little sad if this idea has grown so unchecked that people can't handle the sight of a scar, or a slightly altered facial expression. Spending a week and a half processing the idea that you have cancer (although thankfully not the case) is a sobering reminder that there are so very many more important things to be concerned with. 

So, another photo. This was taken the day my stitches came out and I found out I definitely did not have cancer. I should probably be grinning like a maniac, but I'm taking baby steps with the damaged nerve. Slow and steady wins the race. 

It's not a perfect face, but it's mine and I'm quite fond of it. 

(Crooked smiles and accompanying new dimples are very this season, I hear *snigger*)

Hoping you all had a lovely Christmas, and wishing everyone a very happy new year (and many spoons!) xxx

The Retired Bridgeburner: The C Word

Hi all!

TRB will be a little quiet in coming months as I will be focusing on a new companion blog - The Retired Bridgeburner: The C Word.

As you may have gathered from the title, the lump documented in my last couple of posts has been diagnosed as cancerous. If you would like to follow my adventures in teaching cancer to behave itself, please head over to the new blog! I will continue to alert everyone via Facebook and Twitter when there are new posts.

I am hoping to not abandon TRB entirely, but as stated things will be a little quieter.

Wishing everyone many spoons xxx

How To Train Your Health Scare

(Given the choice, I'd have much rather had a dragon. Image from fanpop.com)

I wasn’t initially going to write about this, but I think I might be able to turn it into something useful and possibly entertaining, so I think it’s worth a try.

Essentially, the lump I’ve been talking about got quite a bit scarier after my consultation and tests this week. We know nothing for certain yet (test results next week) but it’s almost certainly a tumour and currently being classed as “indeterminate” as it has features of both benign and malignant masses. And so, we wait.

There are definitely both good and bad ways to go about handling the intervening period between tests and results. Here are some ideas:

Talk

Let’s be brutally honest – you’re going to drive yourself completely bananas worrying about the problem until you get a definitive answer. This is normal and expected. However, it can be made at least a little bit easier having someone to talk to. They can’t fix it, but they can let you bounce your thoughts off them and just be there for support, which we all need from time to time. Bottling it all up will not make the situation any easier or less unpleasant.

If nothing else, talk at your pet. I say “at”, because I have a cat and we all know they don’t deign to talk “with” mere mortals. Fiddler’s contribution to proceedings so far has been to try and sit on my face and yell at me this morning. Truer words than “there is no snooze setting on a kitten who wants his breakfast” were never spoken.

A word about Google

Rule One – Don’t Google it.

Rule Two – Don’t Google it.

Rule Three – Why aren’t you listening? See Rules 1 and 2.

In all seriousness, it won’t help. It will only make you worry more and add to the confusion. Spare yourself at least some anxiety and don’t go look it up. If you really feel you must, do so with a championship ski slope’s worth of salt and a very critical eye.

Keep busy

This doesn’t have to mean tearing around at ninety miles per hour, but mostly it’s about keeping your mind occupied so you don’t dwell and end up, as mentioned, driving yourself up the wall. For me this meant going back to work, where I can’t help but be occupied because I’m a secretary to seven people (who are proving once again they are in fact some of the nicest people in the world). My friends took me to the pub on the day of the hospital visit, and I’ve a few things planned between now and next week’s results. One of those things is putting together a three door wardrobe whilst trying to keep Fiddler’s “allen key = toy” confusion at bay.

This leads nicely into….

Look after you

You’re allowed, after all. Do whatever you need to do to feel calm and content (or as close to that as you can get). If needs be, spoil yourself a bit. Do all the things you would usually do when you want to feel better. For me at the moment that’s tearing through my Springsteen collection and devoting rather a lot of time to my latest re-read of the Malazan series (me, fangirl? Perish the thought), and watching some really rubbish telly of an evening after work to help switch my brain off.

Also tea and cake, because I’m British and why not?

Most importantly though, make yourself the most important thing for the time being. You’re allowed the break from everything else, and those who matter will understand. I don’t think it’s possible to be worrying about a health scare and lots of other things at once without spontaneously combusting, but we shouldn’t really test that theory.

(Metaphors amuse me, I make no apologies. Image from bbc.co.uk)

Be the Rhineland

I am a demilitarised zone, you are not Germany.

Drama is right out with something like this. It really is important not to get embroiled in the sort of silliness everyone encounters at some point, because in a lot of ways people (all of us) are a bit stupid. We get upset about silly things and we let those things grow out of proportion, and in doing so we make angry phone calls or send ill-thought out bitchy Facebook messages, then the receiving party does the same and it all gets rather messy.

Now is not the time to be involved in those sorts of things. Look after you, ignore everything you need to and everyone else can go have a World War somewhere else. Be antisocial when you need to be, and this sort of thing qualifies.

Mind you, I live in a village in the middle of nowhere in the deepest darkest North, where people think might not have discovered fire yet. It’s really easy for me to be antisocial when I want to.

Be kind to yourself

You’re allowed to be upset, and you’re allowed to be frightened. It’s completely normal. No beating yourself up for being a human being is allowed at this juncture.

Be human- it’s what most of the rest of us are, and to be honest it’s alright.

Have you had a health scare? What did you do while you waited for clarification? I’d love to hear others experiences of this sort of thing as (happily) it’s completely new to me.

Wishing you all many spoons xxx

To Google or Not to Google? That is the Question

Well, actually, no it isn’t. On a basic level you should never do a straight up Google search for anything health related. Or, if you do, you should be prepared to take anything you find with half the planet’s production of salt in accompaniment.

 

I say this after a recent doctor’s appointment whereupon I was, with good humour, banned from Googling the problem because as we both agreed “Google will assure you that you have cancer”.

 

To give a short background, I have a solitary swollen lymph node (or that’s what we’re assuming it is at present) at the back of my jaw. It’s come up very quickly and having ruled out throat and ear infections doesn’t seem to have an underlying reason for deciding to wake up and party. I get the results of rushed-through blood tests tomorrow, and as far as I understand it the urgency is to do with the size and character of the swelling in that it’s hard to the touch (but it does move, which apparently is a good thing).

 

For the moment then, I look like I have about a couple of inches worth of spare lower jaw on my right side.

 

(All the better to eat you with, etc.

Image from www.boneroom.com)

Let’s examine this example for a second. Good old Google would no doubt inform me that I have a Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, being in the most prevalent age bracket and showing a couple of the possible peripheral effects of recent weight loss and a general status of “under the weather” – because as we all know, they’re completely specific to cancer.

 

I’m positive (knowing a great deal more about my circumstances than Google does) said weight loss and my general feeling of malaise have to do with the horrible build up to our move and the fact we’ve barely stopped since in terms of unpacking and the general things you have to buy, put together and do when you move into a new house. Nobody’s kidding when they say moving home is one of the three most stressful life events you can experience (alongside a death and a divorce).

 

In fact, for the sake of accuracy I even checked this earlier today (sorry Doc, but you can’t knock me for checking a theory) – put in “solitary swollen lymp node” or indeed “swollen hard lymph node” and the top few search results will be articles with the words Hodgkin’s Lymphoma helpfully emboldened, just in case you missed the fact that YOU DEFINITELY HAVE CANCER.

 

Not cool, Google.

 

I am of course being monstrously sarcastic here, but I’m using this to illustrate the point that unguided and unrestrained internet searches are not helpful things in regards to health. Particularly as patients with long running conditions with unspecific and widespread symptoms, it is productive and helpful in the long term to wise up about how and where to search.

 

Firstly, don’t just Google it. If you need to search a particular symptom or condition, use medical websites. Patient.co.uk is a good resource, WebMD is another. You’ve more chance of getting something specific on a website like that than you would have on a general search engine. If you have a diagnosis already and are trying to find out if a symptom is typical or could be something new, head to websites specific to your condition.

 

If you can find a forum board dedicated to your condition, so much the better. Start a topic about your symptom (if you can’t find any existing ones) and you’ll find most patients are happy to share their experiences in the hope of being able to help.  

 

I’m probably teaching many readers to suck eggs, but it is so important to not fall into the traps of believing whatever Google tells you, particularly if you are new to the realms of chronic illness and finding these things out for the first time.

 

More importantly, bear in mind that even those sorts of websites can only give you a general overview, or an “average” take on the symptoms and the condition. They’re based on how a condition “usually” presents or what a symptom “generally” indicates – which is why they are not to be wholly relied upon in conditions where the number of symptoms is quite large, or where the main symptoms are general such as fatigue or joint pain.

 

Using those two as examples, there are a myriad of conditions in which those two either separately or together occur, and fatigue in particular is one of the most general medical symptoms in existence. Fatigue can be a symptom of just about anything - yes Google, including cancer!

 

Taking the above into account this brings me to my most important point. Never self-diagnose.  Do your research and compile any information you think is relevant, but always take it to your doctor.  The information available on the internet, though helpful, is just too general to be used to form a concrete diagnosis.

 

Even when backed up by the experience of other patients, remember that chronic illnesses usually have the particular quirk of being quite different from individual to individual. A symptom match doesn’t necessarily dictate a diagnosis match, however much it might appear to “fit”.

 

If you don’t feel you’re getting anywhere with a doctor, always remember you have the right to request a second opinion or indeed take you and your health elsewhere. It’s important in long term ill-health to maintain a good doctor-patient relationship and that means both halves of the relationship being happy that the other is pulling their weight. If you want further reading material resources, you can always ask your doctor where they recommend you looking.

(“In the name of love” or “Hammertime”? You choose!)

In my experience doctors will appreciate the question far more than you (however well-intentioned) attempting to be a Google physician.

 

On that note I’m going to leave you, as I need to go do some reading into why it might be that Fiddler is seeking to destroy a particular patch of our hall carpet which seems to have offended him in the last few days. Maybe it’s calling him names after we’ve gone to bed of a night.

 

Answers in the comments section as to which of them we’re betting Google thinks is the potential cancer patient – the cat or the carpet.

 

I hope this is taken in the tongue-in-cheek manner in which it is intended, and I hope it is helpful. It’s very easy to get caught up in internet research that appears to fit, but it’s always best to approach this with a critical eye and with your doctor’s guidance and support.

Wishing you all many spoons xxx

Strawberry Girl

And blue skies of promise opened before us

There in her eyes are the dreams of the world.

Blue skies of promise rained down upon us,

Life is so sweet with a strawberry girl.

Blackmore's Night - Strawberry Girl

Or, a study in mind-numbing stupidity.

I almost feel bad for using that song as a title for this post because I'm quite fond of it, but when trying to think of something saccharine it was the reference my mind conjured up. Sorry Blackmore's Night.

If you inhabit the internet to any degree whatsoever (and I'm rather pleased you do, because it means you can read this) you will no doubt have come across the idea that "positive thinking" fixes just about everything. All your upsets and triumphs are a product solely of the way you look at the world. It's somewhat akin to making your own luck and the "law" if you will that people with positive attitudes attract positive situations. 

I'm writing this because I want to illustrate the difference between the sort of positivity I talk about on TRB - essentially, if you can laugh or cry at your situation then you may as well laugh - and the above. I was falsely flung into the latter category recently and said mistake really made me look at the problems with the assumption that a positive attitude will solve all your problems. As such, I ultimately want to clarify that I'm very much not on board with such an idea.

What I mean when I speak of being positive is literally that - when neither positive or negative approaches or views will change the situation, to me it seems better to go with the positive side if you can. It's less stressful and toxic on the body. I don't for a second mean you should be unrealistically happy go lucky and carefree at all times. That's ridiculous. 

(Well put, he of the cunning hat. Image from elliedi.com)

In my own situation Petunia, Her Most Tempestuous Majesty, is going to be just that no matter what I do. It helps me to find as much humour in the situation as I can. That approach may not work for everyone and I'm certainly not saying you should be going along with it if it doesn't suit you. If you find it difficult to laugh at your situation, that doesn't make you a bad person. I'm not "right" with my approach any more than you are "wrong" in a general sense - it's about what is right or wrong for you specifically and hang what anyone else says or thinks. 

The "fix all" positive thinking however doesn't allow for those personal differences of mood and outlook and a person's overall nature. What makes me most uncomfortable about it is the unspoken suggestion behind it that you are in some way responsible for your own problems if you don't adopt such an approach. In short, do it our way or not at all. 

Also, lets just stop for a second and consider logic. If you're a subscriber to this sort of thing, I direct this question at you - do you really believe just "thinking happy" is going to cure an illness? If you do, I humbly suggest you go study the basics of human biology and pathology and be quiet until you have done so. 

An unrealistically positive outlook is never going to cure the incurable. If it did, there'd be no ill people. We'd have eradicated cancer, HIV, malaria, meningitis, leprosy and all the rest of the deadliest diseases on our planet many years ago. We'd be sorting out the little niggles like the common cold and hayfever by this point. While we're at this extreme positivity lark, how about we beat death too? It's all a matter of thought, don't you know. 

It's not just this fairytale-like refusal to accept reality that's the problem though. There's a deeper and darker unspoken assumption behind the "positive thinking attracts positive experiences" mantra. I doubt all of those who parrot this insanity have recognised it, but I have. 

There's an apportioning of blame lurking in the background there. Surely if all it takes is an aura of smiling superiority, then those of us whose lives are not sparkly and perfect are surely responsible for our own misfortune? Those patients out there with a myriad of chronic illnesses like myself, we're all perfectly capable of thinking ourselves better and so surely we're "choosing" to be ill? 

(This seems remarkably relevant. Image from vampirediaries.wikia.com)

As I said above, a study in mind-numbing stupidity.

I don't have an answer for why chronic illnesses exist and what causes them - I'm not a doctor. Come to think of it, no doctor I've met so far knows why either. I do however know what the cause is not, and the fault definitely does not lie with patients themselves. Some of the most cheerful and inspiringly positive people I've had the pleasure of meeting are sufferers of anything from chronic pain to cancer. If people like them can succumb, then so can anyone else. 

I realise illness and a hopeless lack of a cure is an uncomfortable and difficult concept for anyone, but wrapping the concept in a neat little box and then hiding it from view will not make it go away. All us patients will still be there, and we'll still be pretty annoyed with your insidious suggestion that it's all our fault.

On a more amusing note though, I'd love someone to put the idea to Her Majesty that she's an impotent by-product of a thought process outside of her control. She'd love that. 

Wishing you all many spoons xxx

In Defence of the No Makeup "Selfie"

(Image from breastcancercampaign.org)

If you spend any amount of time engaged with social media, you will have no doubt noticed the rise of the no-makeup “selfie” to raise awareness for breast cancer.

If you spent a second longer, you will probably also have noticed the rise in non-participants moaning about them.

First things first – yes, it’s fine to moan if your newsfeed is full of photos all of a sudden and not whatever it is you are used to seeing there. The odd grump though is a world away from some of the vitriol I’ve seen aimed at the trend.

“Why don’t they donate money instead?” – well, how do you know they aren’t doing so? And given that the campaign so far has helped Cancer Research UK alone raise over £1 million from in excess of 800,000 text donations, I would hazard a guess most people in fact are doing so. Besides which, what business is it of yours how another individual chooses to go about raising awareness of a cause? When last I looked, nobody was attempting to chain you to the bandwagon and drag you bumping and stumbling along behind it.

Cancer (in any form) has touched or will touch us all in some way throughout our lives. Macmillan Cancer Support’s oft-quoted statistic is that one in three of us will be affected by cancer. That doesn’t just mean contracting the disease, but includes the friends and family surrounding us.  The likelihood is therefore that for a lot of the people posting those pictures, cancer is a pretty big deal.

All those questions of “What’s the point?” or the roll of the eyes-inducing “It’s not face cancer so it’s not relevant” sort of comments are in my eyes missing the most important part of awareness – the need for people to talk about the cause.

In broad terms, there’s no difference between posting said photo, moaning about people posting the photos, commenting on how amazing (or mad, depending on viewpoint) people participating in sponsored activities are, or if like me back in January you were in the camp of wondering why Dryathlete was worth sponsoring because if not drinking for a month is really that much of a challenge for you then charitable leanings aren’t going to help you.

The uniting factor of all those scenarios is that no matter your feelings you’re talking about it with others, who may then talk about with further others, and so on and so forth. No matter the method, the end result is the same success. A crucial part of raising awareness is getting people to discuss and engage with the topic at hand.

It’s the same reason people write blogs, join communities, get involved with organisations such as WEGO Health in hosting web chats and Twitter discussions and generally share their experiences with regard to any illness large or small. If you wish to educate people on the topic to achieve better understanding and greater awareness then the first step is the initiation of conversation. Lack of it will only hinder any advances, and silence is the anathema of progress and the bane of understanding.

I’ve seen a few people posting the breast examination poster instead of a photo, stating that “this actually helps cancer awareness” and I’m sure despite the smug tones that this comes from a well meaning place, but it belies a critical lack of understanding of how people engage in social media. If they aren’t interested, then they’ll scroll right on past your informative poster in the same way they will a photo, whatever the caption or explanation you’ve shown alongside it. You may think you’re being more helpful, but in reality you are no more or less likely to promote discussion and raise awareness than the people you’re deriding.

(There you go, me without makeup. I may or may not legally be a ghost.)

It's the same with The Retired Bridgeburner. I could be talking about something absolutely catastrophically world-bending (unlikely, given my last post was about Munchkin) but if you weren't interested you'd have scrolled right past the various places on social media where it can be found without a second thought. It’s the nature of the beast.

Something to remember is that whilst sponsored athletic exploits are phenomenal and certainly worthy of a great deal of respect (and no small amount of awe in some cases), not everyone is capable of completing such feats. Not everyone's health can meet that challenge, and that's no reason for turning one's nose up at smaller efforts. Even things that are relatively effortless are worthy if the intentions come from the right place.

Then of course there’s the darker side of the complaining – I’m sure we’ve all noticed that it has allowed the rather ugly matter of how much or how little makeup women should be wearing to raise its weary head once again. I try to avoid stereotyping as much as possible, but sad to say at least in my experience so far it has been mostly men who are commenting in this way.

I’m going to put this very shortly and simply for the benefit of the prat at the back and all their friends. I’ll try not to use big words because it seems to be a very difficult concept for their very narrow view on life to tolerate.

We are not wearing make up for you. We are not forgoing wearing make up for you. We are not wearing or choosing not to wear makeup for any person other than ourselves.  

When the outside edges of your world view have ceased to shudder, maybe you will consider that by taking the photos as an excuse to assert views on what a woman looks like with or without the accompaniment of makeup (because as women we certainly aren’t tired of the assumption that our appearance is our one and only contribution of note), you’re doing far more damage to the cause of raising awareness about cancer than any of the subjects of the photos are by posting them.

You might not agree with their methods, but they’re doing something, even a very small something to open up conversation. Turning the matter into an excuse to trot out the incredibly tired makeup debate is preventing that conversation from happening.

In conclusion I will offer one thought – if you’re one of the moaners questioning why women aren’t donating to cancer charities instead of posting photos, I direct your question back to you.

Why aren’t you donating instead of moaning?

If you are, then I applaud you. If you’re not, consider that some food for thought.

Still amused by how ghostly I am, and wishing you all many spoons xxx