(Given the choice, I'd have much rather had a dragon. Image from fanpop.com)
I wasn’t initially going to write about this, but I think I might be able to turn it into something useful and possibly entertaining, so I think it’s worth a try.
Essentially, the lump I’ve been talking about got
quite a bit scarier after my consultation and tests this week. We know nothing
for certain yet (test results next week) but it’s almost certainly a tumour and
currently being classed as “indeterminate” as it has features of both benign
and malignant masses. And so, we wait.
There are definitely both good and bad ways to go
about handling the intervening period between tests and results. Here are some
ideas:
Talk
Let’s be brutally honest – you’re going to drive
yourself completely bananas worrying about the problem until you get a
definitive answer. This is normal and expected. However, it can be made at
least a little bit easier having someone to talk to. They can’t fix it, but
they can let you bounce your thoughts off them and just be there for support,
which we all need from time to time. Bottling it all up will not make the
situation any easier or less unpleasant.
If nothing else, talk at your pet. I say “at”,
because I have a cat and we all know they don’t deign to talk “with” mere
mortals. Fiddler’s contribution to proceedings so far has been to try and sit
on my face and yell at me this morning. Truer words than “there is no snooze
setting on a kitten who wants his breakfast” were never spoken.
A
word about Google
Rule One – Don’t Google it.
Rule Two – Don’t Google it.
Rule Three – Why aren’t you listening? See Rules 1
and 2.
In all seriousness, it won’t help. It will only make
you worry more and add to the confusion. Spare yourself at least some anxiety and
don’t go look it up. If you really feel you must, do so with a championship ski
slope’s worth of salt and a very critical eye.
Keep
busy
This doesn’t have to mean tearing around at ninety
miles per hour, but mostly it’s about keeping your mind occupied so you don’t
dwell and end up, as mentioned, driving yourself up the wall. For me this meant
going back to work, where I can’t help but be occupied because I’m a secretary
to seven people (who are proving once again they are in fact some of the nicest
people in the world). My friends took me to the pub on the day of the hospital
visit, and I’ve a few things planned between now and next week’s results. One
of those things is putting together a three door wardrobe whilst trying to keep
Fiddler’s “allen key = toy” confusion at bay.
This leads nicely into….
Look
after you
You’re allowed, after all. Do whatever you need to
do to feel calm and content (or as close to that as you can get). If needs be,
spoil yourself a bit. Do all the things you would usually do when you want to
feel better. For me at the moment that’s tearing through my Springsteen
collection and devoting rather a lot of time to my latest re-read of the
Malazan series (me, fangirl? Perish the thought), and watching some really
rubbish telly of an evening after work to help switch my brain off.
Also tea and cake, because I’m British and why not?
Most importantly though, make yourself the most
important thing for the time being. You’re allowed the break from everything
else, and those who matter will understand. I don’t think it’s possible to be
worrying about a health scare and lots of other things at once without
spontaneously combusting, but we shouldn’t really test that theory.
(Metaphors amuse me, I make no apologies. Image from bbc.co.uk)
Be
the Rhineland
I am a demilitarised zone, you are not Germany.
Drama is right out with something like this. It
really is important not to get embroiled in the sort of silliness everyone
encounters at some point, because in a lot of ways people (all of us) are a bit
stupid. We get upset about silly things and we let those things grow out of
proportion, and in doing so we make angry phone calls or send ill-thought out
bitchy Facebook messages, then the receiving party does the same and it all
gets rather messy.
Now is not the time to be involved in those sorts of
things. Look after you, ignore everything you need to and everyone else can go
have a World War somewhere else. Be antisocial when you need to be, and this
sort of thing qualifies.
Mind you, I live in a village in the middle of
nowhere in the deepest darkest North, where people think might not have
discovered fire yet. It’s really easy
for me to be antisocial when I want to.
Be
kind to yourself
You’re allowed to be upset, and you’re allowed to be
frightened. It’s completely normal. No beating yourself up for being a human
being is allowed at this juncture.
Be human- it’s what most of the rest of us are, and
to be honest it’s alright.
Have
you had a health scare? What did you do while you waited for clarification? I’d
love to hear others experiences of this sort of thing as (happily) it’s
completely new to me.
Wishing
you all many spoons xxx
