I have mixed feelings about this. I understand the way in which the question is meant, but I’ve also seen it tossed about very lightly in the past and so it makes me a little wary.
For example, I once knew a person who had something which lasted
a fair few painful months and was thankfully fixable. They said very flippantly
to me that being ill had made them a better person, but then continued to be
the epitome of lack of compassion and sensitivity to the point of preaching to
others how much worse their situation was and had been. Despite their belief to
the contrary, I don’t think their period of ill health made them a better
person at all.
The point of this anecdote? It isn’t something granted purely by the state of being ill as that individual seemed to think. It's not an automatic diversion onto a different path. To me being a “better person” as a result of being ill is about the way in which you look at the world and the things you say being different.
The point of this anecdote? It isn’t something granted purely by the state of being ill as that individual seemed to think. It's not an automatic diversion onto a different path. To me being a “better person” as a result of being ill is about the way in which you look at the world and the things you say being different.
(Yep, sure. Image courtesy of studioknow.com)
The example most people seem to give for this question is that they’ve become more compassionate. I’m not sure if that’s true of me or not as I think I’ve always been compassionate and ready to listen. I would say that I’m more patient with things I don’t understand now than I was.
As a person I struggle to call myself a “good” person no matter what anyone else tells me – my aforementioned perfectionist streak sets itself squarely in the way – so I have the same problem in calling myself “better” too. Maybe someone will read this and give me a frank assessment!
I didn't know you before you were ill, but you're definitely a kind and compassionate person. My Dad works with a guy who got a spinal injury whilst climbing and is now wheelchair-bound. He's just as much of a dick as before he got injured. Some people assume his cantankerous nature has come from losing so much freedom but people who knew him before know that, on the outside at least, he is no different. Some people have it in them to become more open, more compassionate and constantly try to be "better" whether or not illness or injury leads them to it. Others are just arses. I don't think you're in the second camp xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Midori :-) I think the point about everyone having the potential within them regardless is a very good one xx
DeleteYup agreed with Midori. I didn't know you before, but you seem to be a very grounded, sensible, intelligent person who also happens to kind and compassionate. I would say thought you've always been that kind of person.
ReplyDeleteI would imagine an illness that doesn't go away and is with you for life, rather than change you as a person, just strengthens what you already are. A miserable sod beforehand will have even more to complain about now, hence be an even more miserable sod.
A pleasant person of a cheery disposition may have a bit of a fight on their hands initially, but I would imagine would revert back to their old self when they had come to terms with their illness.
Thank you Lisa :-) x
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