Like Light to the Flies

This is a little away from my usual topics of choice, but given this is a blog on the internet and I always ask that people are considerate and polite when they comment and discuss on here, I think the commentary has its place on TRB.

I'm sure most of you will have seen in the wake of the death of Robin Williams that his daughter Zelda has ceased to use Twitter and Instagram following attacks on those websites about the death of her father. I could take up a whole post talking about how disgusting it is that anyone in the wake of such a tragedy would tell her that she is the reason her father committed suicide, or worse still send her mocked up photoshop images of his body in a morgue. Reading about this over this week has really left me feeling disapppointed with the world as a whole. The most disappointing factor is that idealistic as I am even I'm not surprised to hear things like this any more.

What prompted this post however was the chorus of responses calling this behaviour "the dark side of the internet", claiming that "this is the way the internet makes people behave".

John Gabriel simplified this apparent phenomenon down into the Greater Internet Douchebag Theory which is illustrated in the image below:

(Image from escapistmagasine.com)

I can see where this idea comes from, I really can. If you go on any internet forum you will probably see examples which appear to back this up - the cliquier the forum, the more likely you are to encounter this because moral censure is eradicated by the need to be "of the group". So yes, I can appreciate where this theory comes from.

However, let me stop you there and point out that it is in fact howling bullshit.

Put that pitchfork down, I'm not done yet.

The issue I have with this theory and those comments I illustrated above is that they imply that the internet is a sentient being. It's the internet that produces this behaviour, and by extension the behaviour is the internet's fault. This would suggest that the people engaging in this behaviour are all lost little puppies who would never dream of behaving in this way if it wasn't for the depth of depravity that is the sentient brainwashing internet.

Why does this anger me so much? Because it implies the people themselves are not responsible for their behaviour.

Regardless of the idea (which I agree with) that the combination of anonymity and an audience can bring out the worst in people, you are still ultimately in control. Whether you feel entirely safe in your anonymity and however big an audience you may feel is hanging on your response, you still have the final decision in what you choose to say and how you choose to behave in an online environment. Nobody *makes* you do anything.

This also gives rise to another oft-quoted argument - "You can't/shouldn't judge people by how they behave on the internet - it's not a reflection of who they are in real life."

Oh, I think you'll find I can. The internet in this day and age is a part of real life - it's not a pretend environment. You don't get a new clean slate each time you close your browser. Everything you say is visible to potentially millions of people - even if you delete or amend it later, nobody can "un-see" the original comment.

If you're a horrible person on the internet you're going to have a very hard time convincing me that's not the sort of person you are. Again we're implying with that train of thought that the internet can create behaviours, and I don't believe that is so. Exaggerate? Yes, but you still have the agency to prevent that. Create of its own accord? Absolutely not.

That's the same sort of attitude that leads to "It's just the internet" being offered as an excuse for bullying - and that is equally ridiculous. Bullying is bullying wherever it occurs, and if you engage in bullying behaviour then you are a bully. No ifs, no buts. The internet didn't make you that way - your own actions did.

(It really is that simple. Image from cafepress.com)

So, how about we put our big girl pants on and stop making ridiculous excuses for ourselves? It's called owning and taking responsibility for your behaviour - and too many people hide behind the internet as an excuse not to do so.

The horrid behaviour Zelda Williams (and countless others before her) was subjected to was not the "darkness of the internet". It was the darkness of people.



I am off to stick my head in a fantasy book until the disappointment is assuaged with dragons. This is a topic I'm very passionate about, and I would really like to hear people's views on it.

Wishing you all many spoons xxx

Carpe Diem

(Dead Poet's Society)

We in the UK woke up this morning to the sad news of the passing of Robin Williams. For the moment pending a full investigation the coroner has given an initial verdict of suicide via asphyxia and Williams’ publicist has confirmed the actor’s long running battle with severe depression.

I will be very clear. I do not suffer with depression – I never have. Some of those close to me do so, but I appreciate this gives me no idea at all how the condition manifests and how it feels to be a sufferer. I don’t want to use this post (or any other) to appropriate anyone else’s problem or indeed talk about something I lack the right and requisite knowledge to tackle correctly.

However, the passing of Robin Williams has served to illustrate the on-going stigma society places on mental illness, particularly in comparison with physical ill health – and that I feel I can talk about successfully. I’ve written about how poorly this is often treated before in A Silence of Three Parts, but I wanted to illustrate something specific here.

Depression by its very nature is a long running, complex and often incurable disease. It shares the same space as many other “invisible” illnesses in that treatment is limited to managing the condition and its symptoms. Often there is no rhyme or reason, and if a person often held to be one of the funniest men on the planet can succumb then it truly illustrates that the disease is indiscriminate and can strike anyone anywhere at any time.

Many will think I’m delving into semantics here and little else, but I ask that you stay with me on this. Semantics are important in the context of how we label and therefore understand the world around us. Our use of words often shows a great deal of the thought process behind such words.

Reading the various reports of Williams’ death this morning, one thing is abundantly clear.

We as a society regard suicide as a choice freely and willingly made. In doing so we completely divorce it from the background leading up to it, and therein I think lies the biggest problem in terms of stigma and misunderstanding.

I’ll explain the context in which I’m criticising that view, before you reach for a pitchfork. Let’s say for example someone had died of a heart attack after a history of heart problems. The heart attack would be regarded as an upsetting but valid complication of the historical underlying condition and in all likelihood nothing would be questioned any further.

Why therefore do we not allow for suicide being a complication of on-going depression?

(The Black dog - sane.org.uk)

The logic is just as sound in both cases, but as a society we seem to have a huge problem accepting mental ill health to be as genuine and blameless as cancer, heart disease, arthritis or any other physical ailment. In my experience people seek to apportion fault with the sufferer – how many times have you seen “Just think positive!” or “If you just cheered up a bit...” thrown in the face of the genuinely ill?

Saying things like that is seeking to place blame. In saying that a person could help themselves by changing their behaviour you invalidate the idea that the condition exists regardless. Most of us have some small capacity to improve our surroundings in a way that can be helpful to overall health, but that does not make us responsible for the hand we are dealt. Nobody asks to be depressed, in just the same way nobody asks to contract cancer. I most certainly didn’t ask for Petunia to show up either whilst we’re on the subject.

I am venturing into the realms of opinion now, because I can’t call up the ghost of every tragic suicide victim the world over and ask them to corroborate my thoughts for me. Be that as it may, I don’t believe that any individual completely devoid of illness chooses to commit suicide.

Notice how I didn’t add “physical or mental” to that statement? I shouldn’t need to – and this is where my point about semantics comes in. There should be no need to qualify whether an illness is physical or mental – it is simply an illness and that should be enough.

In summary I’d like to ask (if you have the time) that people have a look at my post here. It links up to Dead Poet’s Society and why that film meant so much to me – it’s the only fitting tribute I can offer for Robin Williams’ talent and work. Williams’ character Professor John Keating says in the film that “Words and language can change the world”.

A little kindness and compassion for one another can do that too.

RIP Oh Captain, my captain.

Wishing you all many spoons xxx