Saturday, 27 September 2014

Adventures in Adulthood

(Casually rejecting adulthood in all its forms)

There are some things in life you can never avoid. There are other things that are worth it in the end but come with a list of inevitable side effects and unpleasant aspects you wouldn't wish on anyone.

I found this to be one of the earliest lessons of life with a resident internal prankster. You rather quickly end up in an endless cycle of analysis and decision making about what is or isn't worth the predictable side effects and the necessary days of recovery.

Most things in life you can apply this to. Nobody likes to miss events like birthdays, weddings and family occasions, but sometimes such things are necessary. We all have different things for which we are most prepared to throw caution to the wind.

However, some life events answer to nobody's schedule, analysis or planning. This I have discovered in the process of buying our first house.

Firstly, we're about to exchange contracts so we're almost there. The conclusion cannot come swiftly enough for my liking, and despite having the chance to party I would hazard a guess that even Her Tempestuous Majesty wouldn't say no to a bit of a well-earned rest.

Secondly, the whole conveyancing process has revealed some control issues I've successfully kept hidden up to press. I do not do well when things which have a huge impact on me are completely outside of my influence.

What has become apparent is that we don't have the best legal representation in the world. I won't bore you all with the details but plenty of things have been less than confidence inspiring. It also transpires that no amount of coercing makes said legal representation better. We haven't hit threats of impending doom yet, but I'm not convinced even that would raise so much as an eyebrow.

That this situation is unpleasant and stressful is one of the only things Petunia and I are wholly united on. It's also firmly in the category of unavoidable - it will be finished when it is finished and not one moment sooner.

To give the short version, I've been in virtually a permanent flare up for the last month to six weeks. I've just about managed a routine of very early bed times which keeps me functioning enough to go to work, but little else.

Outside of general day to day, a recent wedding was from an illness perspective completely disastrous, but more positively I managed a small corset-laced excursion to an Edguy gig with friends. Tired or not, fun is a must for keeping the spirits up when larger matters are out of your hands. For me there is little in the world a good power metal gig cannot temporarily improve.

(Proof that both corset and outing happened, because at this rate I may dismiss this whole period as a bad dream...)

I've been off my food frequently, bursting into tears with little provocation and my sensory overload symptoms have been virtually unceasing. Every little innocuous noise at home has been almost panic-inducing and it feels like surviving mere existence is exhausting. I am so excited about moving to a tiny country village and wholly ready to embrace the comparative quiet.

The upshot of this is that the outcome will be so worth it. We're buying our first home together, a quirky little house in a beautiful village in the West Yorkshire countryside, and having been checking out the area I can only opine that Yorkshire isn't called God's own county for nothing.

What do you mean I'm biased because I'm from here?

Some things are inescapable, and it's all about how you meet the challenge they present. When nothing will make the stimulus change, it's best to be as positive and health-conscious as possible until it passes.

So, I'm resting a lot and trying to steal small pockets of time for myself with a book as often as possible. Much and more Tolkien has been devoured.

One of those things is gaming nostalgia a la the Forgotten Realms. Most recently it's been Icewind Dale 2, sequel to my favourite piece of nostalgia gaming on this good Prime Material Plane.

One thing though, IWD2?

"Rest until fully healed", you say?

Chance would be a fine thing. The first order of business for our gorgeous Upside Down house may be to make a solid attempt at such a thing.

What life events have inevitably affected your health? How did you cope with them?

Hefting my adventuring gear and wishing you all many spoons xxx

1 comment:

  1. Yowza! Hot lady in a corset, coming through!

    I remember buying our house, our very first. We decided to get married and buy a house all at the same time, during which time I was also on the initial downhill plummet with my health. As you said, though, "When nothing will make the stimulus change, it's best to be as positive and health-conscious as possible until it passes." Those are incredibly wise words. I may end up writing them down or even possibly painting them on a plaque to hang somewhere as a reminder.

    I don't know if the wedding and the house buying had a negative effect on my health or not, honestly. I know that sounds strange, but I was worsening so rapidly *anyway* that I really don't think the stresses of those things aggravated me much until I was already into the "doing " phase. For instance, the day OF my wedding I was in a tremendous amount of pain and had much difficulty walking. Searching for and doing the paperwork for the house wasn't taxing much, but moving was the perfect opportunity for me to push myself past my limits and make myself very, very ill. It wasn't the event itself, it was my behavior within the event.

    Nowadays it's both that affect me and bring me down faster than a pack of wolves on a lame deer, plus whatever else the universe feels like flinging at me. Maybe it's the effect of my astrological sign's interaction with solar flares in another galaxy. Who the hell knows?!

    I DO know that as of tonight my husband and I have taken a chapter out of your book and given a name and an identity to my illnesses separate from myself so that it's easier not to get caught up in the idea that my illnesses are such a very great part of my identity. We call them The Gremlins because they're vicious little bastards and we don't know exactly how many there are or when they'll bring reinforcements… or much about them at all, really. Not yet. Thanks for that, anyway.