Thursday, 20 March 2014

Munchkin: The Chronic Illness Edition

Something on a light hearted note from me this week. Not only am I a computer gamer but I am more than a little partial to board games also. They’re good fun and an easy way to be sociable when you perhaps don’t have the energy to out and so something more lively.

Munchkin the card game was created in 2001 and won the Origin Award for Best Traditional Card Game the very same year. The game was based on the 2000 book The Munchkin’s Guide to Powergaming (itself a winner of an Origin Award), a humorous book poking fun at the sort of role players we all know and love – zero tactics and maximum power (over powered desirable but not essential).

The game  is something I would recommend if you like that sort of thing – it’s Dungeons and Dragons with cards and a liberal dose of zany humour and silliness added to the mix. I mean who doesn’t want to rogue back-stab their friends of an evening occasionally?

So with no more ado, here’s the chronic illness edition of a game of Munchkin!

(Image from

Level 1

Knock down the door.

Allergy-inducing Potted Plant – Level 1

Bad stuff: You can’t breathe through your nose for the rest of the game.

Defeated, because it’s a potted plant for goodness’ sake.

Level 2

Knock down the door.

Medical student – Level 3

Bad stuff: He doesn’t read your notes properly and is generally a waste of time. -2 penalty to everyone.

Receive help from another player to leave the room before you punch him in the face.

Level 3

Knock down the door.

Cleric of the Miracle Cure – Level 6

Bad stuff: She steals all your treasures in return for said cure (which doesn’t work).

You fell for it, you nitwit. Luckily once she has all your treasure she doesn’t care about you anymore. +4 to run away.

Level 4

Knock down the door.

Symptom The GM Made Up – Level 8

Bad stuff: +4 against Wizards – the symptom is not in your books and maps. It’s out there, and it’s confusing your doctor.

Receive help from another player (or press X) to not die. Actually this might not be death, but it feels like it.

Level 5

Knock down the door.

3,872 Pressure Points – Level 14

Bad stuff: -3 to run away, because you can’t move.

A narrow victory with the help of your trusty steed and a Swiss Army Wheat Bag.

Level 6

Knock down the door.

The Dish – Level 10

Bad stuff: It ran away with the spoon(s). Lose your hireling who was carrying them all for you.

You are now one helper down and significantly light on spoons. Some sort of nap might be in order.

Level 7

Knock down the door.

Sneaky Onions You Weren’t Told Were In Your Food – Level 15

Bad stuff: Let’s not be indelicate….

Defeated with the help of Druid Fluid – easing digestive indelicacies since 2001

Level 8

Knock down the door.



(Well sort of. It’s actually a medication reaction, so it’s “drunk” without the fun part preceding it.)

Bad stuff: Lose your class (you can’t really remember what your house keys are for, let alone anything class-specific) and lose your race (you’re struggling to remember your own name at this point….)

Level 9

Knock down the door.

Plutonium Flare-up - Level 20

Bad stuff: Everything! An added +4 bonus against everyone but elves, and -2 against elves, because elves don’t get sick (the smug gits).

Receive help from a friend (we all need that occasionally).

Level 10 and victory! You are the bravest Spoony Munchkin!

Well, if you’re familiar with Munchkin I hope you enjoyed that, and if you’re now scratching your head wondering if I’ve succumbed to that drunk curse after all, Munchkin is a reasonably inexpensive way to have fun with a bunch of friends in the comfort of your own home with minimal energy expenditure - unless you count the spoons you’ll need to throw things at your friends when they hit you with a Level 20 Wandering Monster.

Still chasing down The Dish and wishing you all many spoons xxx

No comments:

Post a Comment