I
mentioned in my last post that I was having some problems with a swollen lymph
node in my neck. Annoyingly, it’s still here. Blood tests showed no sign of
current infection and as there is no history of recent infection or virus that
I’m aware of, I’m off to see an Ear Nose and Throat consultant in the near
future to sort out a biopsy.
Bang
went my hopes of it just being something you could stick something sharp in,
drain and have done with!
The
point of this post however is to discuss other people’s reactions to it thus
far, which today in particular became quite interesting. Usually I wear my hair
down and so you can’t see the lump at all, but today I needed the mane out of
the way and decided to stop being silly about it. It’s a lump at the end of my
bottom jaw which is about two inches long by an inch in length. It’s not as if
there’s a football growing out of my face.
Or,
so I thought…
“What’s that on
your face?"
My
ear , given where you’re vaguely pointing. Oh, you mean that fairly small
unobtrusive lump that really isn’t the major event you’re pretending it is?
That? It’s a baby monster that if you don’t stop pointing at it will jump out
and eat you, Alien style.
“You’ve got a
lump on your face. Why?”
Well
spotted. If I knew why, I doubt I’d be a legal secretary.
“I can’t stop
looking at it!”
You
have a approximately 160 degrees within which you can turn your head. I humbly
suggest you pick a degree my face isn’t currently occupying. Also, it’s really
not that alarming. Face on you can’t see it at all.
“Aren’t you
worried about what it might be?”
No,
not at the moment. As a society we’ve learnt to run around panicking at the
first sign of an unexpected lump of any kind (and I agree you should always get
a lump checked out by a doctor to be on the safe side) but the chances of a swollen
lymph node (even without the obvious presence of infection) being something
sinister are actually really, really
slim. The most likely scenario at
this point is that the biopsy will reveal a benign growth or cyst of some kind,
or that there is in fact some sort of underlying virus I’m unaware of that said
lymph node is arguing with. Either way, I don’t really think there’s any point
working myself up about it at this stage.
“Would it hurt
if I poked it?”
No,
but *you’ll* hurt if you poke it.
“Shouldn’t you
be covering it up?”
Oh
for goodness sake. It’s completely unobtrusive. It’s not lit
up like a Christmas tree or declaiming in Dova. Are people really that freaked
out by anything that’s just ever so slightly off-kilter?
“You know, you
look a bit peaky as well…"
Say
it with me: “pale complexion”. Yes? Good. I realise that’s tetchy of me, but I
do get tired of being told I look ill when it is in fact just my normal skin
tone. When I’m actually ill, I look like a one of the Drowned Dead from Dungeons and Dragons. Believe me, you’ll know the difference if you see it.
And
so we learn “normal” sick is actually no different from invisible illness in
terms of the propensity for silly questions. And no, I didn’t actually say any
of this, merely thought it all pointedly.
Also,
in the midst of all this, I feel slightly mean for not congratulating my body
for circumventing Petunia and actually managing to be sick all by itself. It’s
not actually managed this since she made herself at home until now. I feel like
a bizarrely proud parent.
Gold
star, body. Now pack it in.
Wishing you all
many spoons xxx
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